Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Demolition Grocery Store Scooters

Can you imagine what would have happened if this little incident had taken out the produce section? Shudder. Image found here. 

Once again. I have learned. NEVER to break my arm patting myself on the back.


Julia: Pride goeth before a fall. Pride goeth before a fall. Pride goeth before a fall......

I was swaggering around yesterday all puffed up with pride simply because I did not do something stupid at the Cathedral on Sunday. And, of course, as it so often does, the universe intervened to set me back on my humble heels.

My comeuppance arrived as I was zipping around a local department store on one of their in-store scooters. I was enjoying myself enormously because the scooter that I had chosen seemed to be much faster than others that I had used before. So I ripped through the produce aisle, tossed a package of baby carrots into my cart as I made the turn, then motored through the bakery section. I swear I was going so fast that I could feel the wind in my hair.

As I was heading over to check out the purses in the accessory department (yeah, this store has everything) I hit the brakes in front of a large end cap display of reading glasses since I seem to lose those things as fast as I can buy them. I maneuvered the cart back and forth trying to get close to various styles of glasses and was getting impatient because I just couldn't get the darned cart close enough to that one stinkin' pair just out of reach.

My mistake was gunning the thing in reverse.

You can imagine what a display holding about one hundred neatly organized glasses looks like lying completely on it's side...and the racket that was created as it crashed to the ground.

Oh, brother.

As luck would have it, a very very nice gentleman was standing directly around the corner from the disaster and while trying really hard not to laugh, heaved the display back to vertical. What's really amazing is that the majority of the glasses stayed firmly attached to their little hooks, and store security officers didn't arrive to confiscate their scooter and escort me out of the store. I thanked the man profusely, helped scoop up and rehang the glasses that hit the floor, and then put putted sedately (and with a very red face) directly to the checkouts.

I wonder if there's a bunch of stock boys from that store gathered around a security monitor guffawing over the video footage of this chubby old lady taking out a display shelf with a scooter?

I expect a motorized shopping cart speeding ticket will arrive in my mailbox shortly. Perhaps I should shop elsewhere just for a little while.....


Heda said...

Brilliant! Laughed out loud. Thought I was the only person who did things like that. How kind our fellow human beings can be. There's often an angel when you need one.

mcspires said...

Ah, dear Julia, I am sorry for your misfortune, but I mus admit this did start my dat with a bit of a giggle!