I'm creeping back into the land of the living. By inches.
Yesterday, I reached that stage in recovery in which I began to be impatient and bored......a good sign yet a frustrating experience. I aimlessly wandered around the house, re-arranging stuff, flipping through old magazines, and tried folding some laundry, only to feel my face become cold and covered with perspiration. Aargh. I flopped back on the couch for a few minutes until I felt better, then began my wandering again.
I felt so restless. I moved to the recliner and lay back, fiddling with my iPhone and solitaire. I wanted to DO something. But my body just wasn't cooperating.
As I crankily tossed my phone aside and closed my eyes, I idly wondered what I could do, or where I would be, if I could do or be anywhere.
The answer was easy: the ocean. I wanted to be near the ocean.
I need to get out to the coast, and soon. I need to find an empty stretch of beach, bundle up against the cold wind, and just. be. there. To listen to the crash of the waves and the cries of the seagulls, to smell the salty, moist air, to close my eyes and just. be. For hours, with absolutely nothing else to do but just. be.
Without exception, when John and I spend time next to the ocean, I feel an inexplicable sense of renewal. I can't think of a logical explanation for it, but the fact remains: I feel better when I'm there. I feel stronger, and healthier, and just.......good. I breathe better. My skin feels moist. I use fewer eye drops.
Ahhh....But.
I knew that even though the coast is only an hour and a half away, a quick trip out just wasn't going to happen, so I had to think what other experience might suffice. I opened my eyes and glanced out the window, and saw my answer; I have a little plot of nature right in my own back yard. I grabbed a surprised John and asked if he would join me outdoors. We slipped on raincoats and headed down to our little potting shed at the far edge of the lawn. There, we found two lawn chairs, and sheltered from the rain and the wind, perched just inside the little building looking at our own little chunk of trees, and grass, and wind, and moisture.
It felt wonderful to let the wind and rain spatter my glasses. And John pointed out that we even had wildlife in our little nature preserve:
Ah, yes. The Schnauzer in the wild. A rare sight.
We returned to the house soggy, but happy. Guess sometimes I need to find renewal just outside my back door.
All photos mine.
3 comments:
Just beautiful. Nature always sets me right, too.
I am also having the blahs now days, searching for something to do, ignoring the laundry because I am just tired of repeating that daily pattern. Last night I broke down, called my dentist and went in. The burning in my mouth has become unbearable. After checking, He said what I was expecting I was not creating enough moisture in my mouth. He gave me an anibiic because my gums were in such bad trouble but also reminded me up that was not the root of my problem and I had to go back to my doctor. I really dread this.... I know what it means. Thanks for reminding me that I am not crazy through your post!
PS.... I posted under Yvette the other day.
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