Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Purely Ornamental

This year our party was held at a fabulous all-things-Christmas type store. 

Oh, man. I just can't stand myself. I know y'all have heard a million of these but I just have to share another Bev story.

(I'd share a Terese story except she's been behaving herself for a suspiciously long time. Which means one of two things: A - either she really IS staying out of trouble or B - she's not telling me about it.)

Of course you remember my friend Bev of the now infamous bear bomb incident and the threatening to do a strip tease on my front porch fame. Wait. Did I ever share the latter story?

No? It's a goodie. I'll tell you another time.

Like all of my friends, I just love this girl to death.

So TWO YEARS ago, our coffee klatch group -- we call ourselves the Mocha Girls -- exchanged Christmas ornaments. The party was held at my house, and Bev left one of her ornament gifts behind. I put the festively decorated gift bag on top of my piano and it's been there for .......... TWO YEARS.

I've tried to send it home with her multiple times over the past twenty four months but somehow it always has remained right on top of my piano.

I think it liked it there.

Ah, yes. I finally delivered the thing to her front door two Mocha Girls Christmas parties later. I had offered to pick Bev up on the way to the party. My incessant door bell ringing brought a horrified bathrob-ed bleary-eyed Bev to greet me through her screen door, mortified that she had slept through her alarm. While she threw on clothes and brushed her hair in a panic mode, I took the gift bag with her two year old ornament and set it front and center on her dining room table. As we headed out the door, we laughed about the length of time it had taken to finally get that ornament into her house.

The party was great. We all had a fine time shopping and laughing and enjoying lunch and exchanging this year's gifts. We headed back home and I dropped Bev off at her house, almost hoarse from the incessant yakking over the past several hours. She waved goodbye from her front porch.


So the next day, the phone rang and it was Bev. She was laughing so hard she could hardly speak.


Oh, hey Bev!

"You are so not going to believe this."

Honey, I've known you for almost twenty years. I'll believe anything.

"So that ornament that you've had sitting on your piano for ages, and finally got over to my house?"


I heard a long sigh on the end of the line.

"Well, I took it out of the gift bag and walked over to put it onto the Christmas tree last night. And......"

She started cackling.

Girl? You ok?

"Hehehe. Well, I tripped on the rug and dropped it. It shattered into a zillion teensy weensy pieces."

We both whooped with laughter.

I think that thing missed living on my piano.

What a classic Bev incident! I told her that if she would have simply taken the stupid thing home two years ago and hung it on her tree, she probably wouldn't remember anything about it. But now?

Now we'll never forget. Just don't tell our friend that originally put the ornament in the gift bag.

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