Sunday, September 13, 2015

He's At It Again

Tell me the truth here, people. Honestly. I need to ask y'all a question: Is it just my husband, or are your men like this? Do they ask you to do bizarre things when you least expect it?

I came home from coffee with the neighbor gals yesterday. John met me at the door and told me to come outside. So I did. To see this:

This thing was a BEAST

He told me that I needed to help him take this tree down. (It's been sick for a long time.)


Really?! I asked in disbelief. Now? But I'm wearing a skirt!

"You don't need work clothes. I used to do this with my dad when I was only ten years old," he said. "So I know you can handle this."

What exactly are we talking about here? 

"You're going to pull down this tree."

Say WHAT??

"You'll be perfectly safe and this will be easy, I promise."

Um....OK. I walked over to the spot to which he directed me and took the rope that he thrust into my

So what do I do? I eyed him and the pulley contraption suspiciously.

"Just start walking down the hill by the blueberries, and pull the rope taut behind you as you go. You won't have to pull very hard. I've got a block and tackle set up to do the real work. When the tree comes down you won't be anywhere near it. I'll be here by the tree with my chainsaw." He pointed to the wedge that he had already cut from the trunk. "Start walking!"

Now? This time I eyed him dubiously. I eye my husband in a variety of ways; often several times a day.

"Yes! Now!" *chainsaw starts doing it's thing* "GO, JULIA! NOW!"

So I walked carefully down the hill, pulling the big black rope with me. And what do you know? This thirty foot monster tree came crashing down exactly where John had told me it would.

Holy cow. It worked! 

"You're quite a lumberjack, babe!" he exclaimed as he fired up the chainsaw again and began lopping off tree limbs.

John loves his chainsaw. And yes, I make him wear protective eyewear...

I had to admit that he was right: I was. A lumberjack in a skirt wearing a dumb stupid knee brace.


Kate Stout said...

My partner is not like this,but my dad, totally like this. He loves to take trees down, and uses similar techniques.

Anonymous said...

Oh my Julia you are a very good sport!
My husband loves to take down trees too. We used to live on 17 densely wooded acres, and he spent every weekend for 10 years clearing the unhealthy trees and the ones that were choking out the old hardwoods. We now live in the suburbs of a very large city. He has nothing to cut now but he won't get rid of that chainsaw. It's hanging on our garage wall, like a trophy ;)

Anonymous said...

Julia did an excellent job helping take down that tree, she is a born lumberjack (or lumberjill, I guess).

There was a lot going on when she came out to help, so she probably did not notice that I cut the wedge in the tree after she picked up the rope attached to the block and tackle. She then pulled the rope that compressed the block and tackle and pulled the tree in the direction of the wedge cut, I immediately sawed the back of the tree toward the wedge cut, dropping the tree exactly where we wanted it.

This is an important safety step when felling a tree. Once the wedge is cut, the tree becomes potentially unstable and can potentially fall at any time. After you cut the wedge, you must then quickly drop the tree.

Lets lumberjack safely out there.


mcspires said...

Just trying to visualize this. For future, I think you need a red and black plaid flannel skirt. Just sayin'