Wednesday, March 26, 2014

A Woman's Gotta Do What a Woman's Gotta Do..

As I was getting dressed yesterday morning, I was thinking about how mundane my life seemed to be lately. The only thing on my calendar that day was to go to the lab and have some blood drawn for a follow up CBC.

Woo! I thought. That's pathetic.

My friend Naomi offered to go with me and after we left the clinic, we decided to do a little shopping. Just to liven up the day a bit. We stopped at a grocery store, I grabbed a cart from inside the store entrance and plopped my purse into it.

That's when things became distinctly less mundane.

As Naomi and I were examining bags full of those little mandarin oranges that are so popular these days, I had my cart directly in front of me. Just as I turned away from the fruit and back toward the cart, I saw a young woman running out of the store. With my purse tucked under her arm.

I had just begun to perspire with the effort of walking to the store from the parking lot, but my fatigue completely evaporated as I began to yell, "HEY! THAT'S MY PURSE!!" and I sprinted after her. I caught up to her as she was just opening her car door and yanked my purse from her arms. "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!!"

I'm pretty vocal when I'm hacked off.

She was young and fit appearing, but I grabbed her firmly by her upper arm. "SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE!!" By then I was shouting at the top of my lungs.

By now a small crowd had gathered. A dopey bespectacled older man said firmly, "Ladies. Surely we can come to some kind of compromise here!" and I looked at him with disbelief. As I did, the little snot squirmed out of my grasp, slammed her car door and squealed out of the parking lot.

Good grief. I HAD her!, I thought in frustration. If that stupid guy hadn't taken my attention away from her, I could have held on! I swung around to give Mr. Dodo Head a piece of my mind, but he had disappeared as well.

In the meantime, the police had been called and several people had noted the car's license plate number. And suddenly.....all my energy was gone. I began shaking and the reality of what had just happened struck me: I had outrun a thieving young gal. And had just about wrestled her into submission. Me. Old, disabled, chubby, ME.

Someone ran and got a folding chair and slid it under me. I'm glad they did because right about then my knees began to buckle. The police officer that appeared held out his hand. "Ma'am. I heard what you did. I want to shake your hand!"

What? What did I do?

"Well, according to the rules as a police officer I should be telling you that you shouldn't try to chase after people like that. But to be honest, I'm glad that you did."

He then went on to do all the usual stuff that police officers do after an incident like this, with a smile on his face every time he looked at me. "She got it back. She got her purse back!" I heard him chuckle to the store employees.

Darned right I did. I thought. Everyone around me was asking me if I was all right, or if I had been injured in any way so I showed them my chipped fingernail. And just after a perfectly good manicure, too! Tsk.

It never occurred to me that I would be in danger which I guess was kind of naive but in all actuality, I think that the bigger potential injuries would have occurred if I would have thought to sit on that little brat before the police came. SHE would have been the one suffering any damages, I thought. She probably had some bruises on her upper arm as it was because I was hanging on to her for dear life before my attention was directed elsewhere. Dumb stupid "compromise" guy. What could he have been thinking?! That perhaps I should have handed over one of my credit cards and half of my cash??

After the hubbub was over and Naomi had deposited me back in my home, I collapsed onto the couch, totally spent.

So this morning.......I'm thinking that maybe mundane is a good thing. A very, very good thing. I will never plop my purse into a shopping cart ever again.


Gertrude said...

Go Gladys! I would sue for the manicure. Glad you are okay.

annie said...

I"m glad you got your purse back, but how shaky were you after all that chasing around?

Could the older man and the young woman be working together, seeing as both disappeared at the same time? I never shop with my purse in my cart, because I've witnessed such a purse robbery in a store, and I learnt my lesson. Glad you're A-OK.

Sue said...

Hi Julia. Glad you got your purse back and you are okay. You definitely have to go for another manicure now.

Amy Junod said...

omg! I am so glad that you're ok and that you don't have to hassle with the ordeal of cancelling cards and such. And she made you break a nail! Karma's coming for that little stink blob- and the jerk who helped her get away.
Do they have video footage?

ShEiLa said...

Loved the recount of your not so mundane day.... Read it giggling... Then read it again out loud to my daughter. You have a talent for the recap.

Anonymous said...

I always put my purse in the baby seat in the cart. One day in the grocery store I had turned my back to my cart and a woman came up to me and said that she could have walked away with my purse and I would have been none the wiser. She recommended that I use the seat belt for children to tether my purse to the cart. I just hook the belt through the handles on my purse and away I go. You usually can't see the belt so if someone walked up and tried to take my purse it would probably cause a racket. A lot of women have seen me putting the seat belt on my purse and tell me what a great idea it is.

Christina said...

I'm glad you are ok and you got your purse back. Yesterday I had a creep follow me through a store and at one point I saw him trying to hide playing with his zipper, so I took my phone out fully prepared if he is going to flash me I will be armed with my camera and a loud voice.
I too, buckle my purse in the shopping cart. If someone tried to take it they would be surprised that my purse is staying and my cane on their head.

Shara from Seattle said...

That was awesome, specially coming from you! I would never have imagined you doing that. How strange...I had a weird purse thing happen. I have lots of stolen purse stories but this was a leaving my purse in a cart, just the other day. I went to pick up drugs, shopped and when I left Rite aid I decided to go to Taco Time up the Hwy. It was farther than I remembered and it wasn't there any more. I'm, blathering, talking to God, find a Taco Bell and when I went to pay for our food- my purse wasn't there. I'm thinking really loud to Jesus now and I remember that I'm supossed to be acting like my purse is just going to "Be" there, God will make it so. Well, it was. I can't find my Zolpidium but I don't have to replace all of my cards. Thank God huh? That is always the worst. Did you feel sore the next day like you had run a mile? I'm glad to hear that all you lost was a nail.

LM said...

Wow! That is the sort of excitement no one needs. Glad you're okay and glad you got your purse back!
I don't know about you, but if I carry anything for too long, my arms begin to shake. I always put my purse in the child seat of the car. However, I've learned from a friend of mine to buckle it in - just like a little kid. If someone wants that purse, they're going to have to take the whole cart or take a few moments to unbuckle it. Just a thought :)

Anonymous said...

I do the same thing of hooking it in the child's seat. If the strap is long enough I twist it around the purse handle several times which would make removal even more difficult. My husband is usually shopping with me & he's always so hot that he takes his jacket off and covers the purse, which is a great disguise.


Miki said...

I am very glad that you stood up, took action and got your purse back but I am most happy that you are OK!!!

Gill said...

Are you sure that the man wasn't part of it acting as a decoy?