Wednesday, October 17, 2012

People Who Live in Glass Houses........

I probably should buy this t-shirt for myself...

I was venturing out into the post-rituximab world yesterday, and feeling pretty proud of myself. I had actually showered and my socks matched.

Woo hoo!

John and I walked through a couple of stores doing errands, and finished checking off our shopping list in WalMart. By this time, I had pretty much expended my energy reserves, but I really wanted to finish my shopping. So I decided to use one of the store's shopping scooters. I had just taken my seat and was looking over the controls when I noticed a couple who had obviously had the same intent as I. The woman looked visibly fatigued and pale.

My gosh, I thought. This poor lady really needs this scooter more than I do. I stood up.

"Please - use this one. I can find another!" I said.

The couple looked at me incredulously. "Oh, NO," exclaimed the woman. "I couldn't possibly! Sit! Use it! Seriously!" Her husband nodded his agreement with a very concerned look on his face.

By this time, a WalMart employee had buzzed his way over with another scooter, and I sat down with relief. Good, I thought. Now that poor thing has a scooter too. It would have such a shame if she would have refused using this thing when she obviously needed it really badly. She looked like she felt just terrible....kind of pathetic, really....

John headed over to the sports section and I scooter-ed my way around the groceries, enjoying the breeze on my sweaty face as I quickly zipped around picking up my shopping items. As I rounded a corner and started down the bread aisle, I could hear the woman that I had spoken to earlier chatting with her husband. I looked around and didn't see her or her scooter, and realized she must be parked one aisle over. She looked just awful. She must really have had a hard day, I thought sympathetically.

I went back to mentally debating the merits of oatmeal vs. spelt bread. The couple's voices became louder as they moved along their aisle, and as I picked up bits and pieces of their conversation, I realized that they were talking about ME..

"Oh, my gosh. She looked so haggard and sweaty!" said the woman.

"I was going to make her sit down on that thing. I was afraid she'd fall over!" said the husband. "Good thing they brought another scooter when they did!"

My jaw dropped. The nerve! I thought indignantly. Why, she looks sick and old and tired and pale and just downright crummy! Where does she get off calling me HAGGARD?

I threw a loaf of bread into the scooter basket and motored over to the produce section in a self-righteous huff, where I hid behind the bananas as I grabbed my purse and dug out my compact. As I snarled into the mirror, I saw an old and tired and pale woman looking back at me. She had goobered coffee down her sweatshirt, her unevenly parted hair was damp around her scalp and brow from perspiration, and she looked decidedly cranky. And.....haggard. Yeah. Guess this shopping trip is definitely over.

Yowsers. I found a kleenex in the purse and mopped my brow and face. I was just texting John to let him know it was time to head home when the couple made their way past my hiding spot.

Haggard. Pfffft.

I resisted the temptation to stick out my tongue, and instead smiled cooly and nodded as they went by.

I also resisted the temptation to grab a banana bunch and wing it over her head. And I resisted the urge to bounce an apple off the husband's backside. I DIDN'T ram the back of her scooter with mine, either. I COULD HAVE taken ol' husband out right about the knee caps if I would have gotten a run at him.........but maybe could have done more damage with the t-bone crash approach.....I'll show YOU haggard, you, you......

It's a good thing that John showed up right about then. For all of our sakes.


Christine said...

Ugh, the nerve of some people. I have never met you but I think you are beautiful, not haggard. Beautiful people are ones who although they need a scooter, are willing to give one up for someone who appears more needy. Beautiful people are ones who fight a difficult chronic illness and still manage to find joy in their lives and write cool blogs that help a lot of people, including myself. So take that you Walmart idiots!! :-)

Gertrude said...

That is the Julia I know and love. You aren't haggard...just mousy some days. :)

Kate S. said...

I have learned that when my sweetie or my daughter look at me in a certain way and say "Time to go home", that despite my belief that I can do just one more thing, I really should go home now. Kind of like when parents need to take their kids home before the time for naps.

Hey, you got out, and it was good, and now it's time to go home!

Unknown said...

Julia - you take care! And don't hurt anyone! You must have 'mighty' mousies in you!

Miki said...

I love this but I can't help thinking that I hope she doesn't read your blog! ;)

Vancouver Glass said...

Modern day architectural trends have elevated the way we think about the use of glass in our homes. It is no longer simply a material for windows and the occasional sliding door; it is a design component in its own right.

Your post is very interesting. I agree with Mike. Lol :)