Monday, August 6, 2012

The Shushing Continues

Y'all may remember my recent shushing incident up in the church choir loft.

Honestly. .::indignant sniff::.

People. It has happened again, and this time in a much more public place: OUTSIDE THE AUDITORIUM OF THE AUTOIMMUNE CONFERENCE.

The shame.

I was chatting with a delightful sjoggie who had introduced herself after the lunch break, and on our way back to our seats for the conference, we were walking and talking and talking and talking like we had been friends forever. Which meant that as I continued the conversation, my blabbing volume control kept ratcheting higher and higher. And then we started giggling about something, which in my case, turned into a full-blown guffaw. I have to admit that my my laughter -- translate: ear splitting cackle -- was pretty hair raising.

Smack dab in the middle of the best part of the story, a very cranky-looking gentleman came ripping out of the auditorium and SHUSHED US.

Well, he shushed ME. Because I deserved it the most.



So we said our good-byes and I guiltily made my way back to my seat in the auditorium. And, after listening for a few minutes, could understand why this gentleman was peeved -- the speaker's topic was ankylosing spondylitis, which is one of the few autoimmune diseases that affect mainly MEN.

Well, I suppose being peeved at a blabbermouth outside the auditorium door is understandable regardless of the topic....maybe.....

I settled back into my seat, thinking that my obnoxious behaviors should surely be over for the day, when John sent me a text message. And, as y'all may recall my new favorite cell phone stash spot is in my bra. Because everybody is doing it. And I wasn't wearing pants with pockets. And my purse was stuffed way under my seat.

I've become accustomed to my right boob vibrating when I receive calls and text messages, so wasn't too surprised when my blouse began to jiggle. I grabbed my phone, read the message and stuffed it back into my bra, but had to snort loudly with laughter when I looked down and saw this:

(OK. I have to admit that I had to re-create this picture because obviously my cell phone camera was IN my bra at the time.)

I slid down in my seat and collapsed into snorts and giggles. Oh, brother....and, of course, my seat was only a few rows away from being smack dab front and center....I didn't dare look out of the corner of my eye for Mr. Grouchy Conference Attender. I would guess he wasn't appreciating my continued rude and doofus behavior.

Yikes. I'm hopeless, I tell you.

Oh, my. What if someone would have seen my boob vibrating AND illuminating??


FFW said...

Be careful!

My girlfriend ruined the warranty on her phone through excessive boob sweat. No joke.

Julia Oleinik said...

Wow! Hadn't thought of that.....

Suzy said...

This sounds like something I would do.

Debbie said...

This is the funniest post I think you have written. Made me laugh & laugh. You and I would get into SO much trouble if we were together.

ShEiLa said...

YOU Miss Julia sound delightful to me. I would never HUSH you... never.