Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Program Procrastination.....

I am very preoccupied today. And it's all my own dumb stupid fault.

I had agreed to create my son and his fiance's wedding programs, and I did -- while yoinking ideas and help from everyone imaginable. Thinking that I had this cat totally in the bag.......was a big mistake. Which was made glaringly obvious to me as I smugly presented my thumb drive loaded up with what I thought was the perfect file to the printing company guy. He downloaded my gorgeous, amazing, and perfect program file, looked at his computer screen, then back at me with a skeptical look.

"Hm. So you're going with six full 8 1/2 X 11 inch pages?"

Ummm....... No, actually I want the size that you get when you take a bunch of those sized papers and then fold them all together. In half.

"O.........K........." I could see him literally restrain himself from doing a facepalm. Or doing some other gesture that would indicate significant frustration with this clueless customer.

"I hate to tell you this but you're going to have to go back and redo mostly everything here. If we go with a 5 1/2 X 8 1/2 inch program....that's the size you want, by the way......then all of the spacing and configurations and font sizes will be all different than the ones that you have on this file."

O.......K........ Here I actually DID a facepalm. Good grief in a bucket.

Mr. Printing Company Guy looked at me anxiously, probably wondering if I was going to melt down at this point. There was a line beginning to form behind me and I'm sure this guy had better things to do than hand tissues to a weepy and confused woman while coaxing her down from his service counter as she stomped the computer and cash register in a  rage. He quickly adopted a soothing yet slightly panicked tone.

"Look. Just go back into whatever program that you created this document with and change the page setup to what we discussed. Then don't freak out when everything looks different -- you just have to play around with spacing and font sizes until you like what you see."


"Um. That make sense? It's going to be fine, really it is..."

Sigh. Sure.

I held my hand out and he dropped my thumb drive into my palm, then looked at me a bit fearfully. "See ya. We're open until 11 pm."

Well, crumb. I'd been sitting on this thing for the last three days thinking that all I had to do was blow into this place, throw them my files, swipe the debit card and we're outta here! Dang. I could have been re-spacing and formatting and whatever the heck it is that needs to be done all weekend. But NOOOOOO.

So now y'all know what I'm doing at the moment. Oh....and....um.... disregard any news reports about a crazed woman drop-kicking her laptop around Portland. They're just vicious rumors......probably started by some print shop guy....


Gill said...

Should have gone to the shop when it was very quiet and paid cash not card.... Miracles can happen ;)

Amy Junod said...

I totally failed Page Layout and Design because of letter spacing. Stupid pica. I am of no help but to wish you well. Maybe take a sip of the not yet aged vanilla?