Wednesday, March 28, 2012

It All Started With the Fondue

I woke up yesterday with a hangover. Well, it sure felt like one. And I hadn't even had ONE mango margarita. Or any other adult beverage. Dang.

Headache, furry mouth, body aches.......

I wah wah wah-ed about it to John over breakfast and he volunteered that he had noticed that I had been eating more sugar than usual lately. Could that possibly be the culprit? "I feel really lousy when I eat sugar, babe. Headache, achey, yup, I'll betcha that's your problem."

Hm. Let's see.......Weight Watcher's ice cream bars for breakfast.......for lunch......for a snack......cinnamon french toast with caramel syrup for cream bar for bedtime snack.....

Sugar? What sugar?

French toast, yes, I admit.....but the ice cream bars are made by WEIGHT WATCHERS! How could a Weight Watcher's chocolate-covered ice cream bar be BAD for me? They're only four points plus! Each..... Hm......

Image of delectable but dangerous treat found on Mimi's Meals, here. I would have taken my own picture but mine are ALL GONE.  

He's right, of course. Sigh.

I don't know when it began, but I have slowly but surely fallen off my healthy-eating wagon. This couldn't possibly be my fault.

It must be Terese's. Or Greg's. And, as always, John's.

I think it all began on the weekend that we spent out at the coast. Greg forced me to make a fondue dinner Friday night, which ended with chocolate ganache dipped strawberries.

Greg. How COULD you?

And then after we got out to the coast, I'll admit that it WAS my idea to stop at a candy store, (Ok. In full disclosure here, I am such an honest person after all, I practically grabbed the steering wheel and strong-armed Greg to turn around and head toward the store) but they all should have known better.

And once we were there, Terese should have forcibly kept me from entering the store and loading up on two pounds of salt water taffy. And eating it. And goading everyone else to eat it too. What are best friends FOR? Really. Has she no sense of responsibility?

Huh. It's all making sense now.....I KNEW that I wasn't to blame here.

Yeah! And then....and then....and then with that load of sugar chasing around inside me, who could be surprised that I was irresistibly compelled to throw aside any rational train of thought regarding food and healthy food choices, hm?

Certainly not ME.

Of course not. It had to have been John's fault that I practically crawled inside the freezer ice cream shelves at Wal-Mart and emerged with as many boxes of ice cream treats that I could hold in my frozen little hands. And then zoomed through the check-outs and zipped home so that I could pry open the nearest box and begin chowing down. He did push the shopping cart and paid for all of them.

Guys. How could you do this to me? Aren't you my closest friends and family? For shame. Tsk. How can you SLEEP at night, people?

Oh. My. Gosh. What a tragedy.

But after careful thought, I've decided not to hold this week-long sugar high against them.


No, no.....don't compliment me on my largesse here, honestly. Aw, shucks, folks. It's just my generous and forgiving nature, really......yes, yes......and I'm so modest, I know.....

After all, they are going to have to tolerate me as the sugar withdrawal begins. It's going to get ugly around here. Brace yourself.


Leslie at SugarAndSpiceADK. said...

I've noticed that since I've cut 90% of the alcohol I used to drink out of my diet, that my sugar cravings are husband has noticed it, too! So, I've gone sugar-free this whole hellishly long week...hardest the first 3 days, then not so are not alone, Julia!

Kelly said...

You can still have chocolate: 90% dark bars are health food and have very little sugar and I also like 100% cocoa nibs, which have no sugar at all, stirred into Greek-style yogurt with some berries and/or a few drops of Stevia liquid. It's not chocolate fondue, but it's still chocolate, and it helps. Good luck!

ShEiLa said...

Tehehehehe *Ü*

Sugar? Huh? Wow!
Hadn't thought about that.

I love that you are going to forgive them for your sugar high...


Shannon said...

I 100% agree and can logically see how you *know* none of this was your fault. None of it at all. Yup, I see your line of thought and acknowledge your exceptional (cunning) cleverness, as the true wit that it is.

We can talk (to death) down ANYone who claims you may have had any responsibility in this sugarfest of sweetness.

Julia Oleinik said...

Shannon and Sheila: I can see that great minds think alike...

Kelly: mmmmmmmmm chocolate.....excellent idea.

Leslie: Wait. Does this mean ADDING ALCOHOL will decrease my sugar cravings?

Tosha from said...

What evil friends and family you have! It is so good of you to stick with them, showing them love and kindness, despite their blatant ties with the devil. You are to be commended. ;-) Good luck with your withdrawal. May the force be with you and with those who love you.

Oh, and by the way, the message I'm taking away from this is to eat more chocolate and drink more wine! I might be a bit of a selective reader -lol.