Friday, April 29, 2011

It's Happening Again

Well, as usual, it's time for the routine "After The Holiday Whineybutt Session In Which I Confess All The Stupid High Calorie Stuff That I Have Been Eating".

Yes. I know I do this after every holiday, and I always promise NOT to A: Begin chowing down on everything bad for me as soon as the guests enter the door, and B: Make a boring confession about it all. And, of course, A happened immediately and now here comes B.

Sorry, folks. This thing is bigger than the two of us....I can't hold back.

Just deal with it.

But I will be kind this year and spare y'all the details of the mmmm mmmm GOOOD stuff that I stuffed down my gullet. *smacks lips* The annual Easter Ham-O-Rama was attended by twenty eight friends and family this year and between the yummy ham that John and Greg and our son presented to us, and the delectable contributions from our other guests, the tables were groaning with all sorts of delicious foods.

Alleluia! For lots and lots of reasons!

What made this Easter's chow-down particularly impressive was the fact that I did indeed consume a large amount of candy and goodies in spite of the fact that THE CALORIE POLICE CAME TO DINNER. (Read this if you need a CP reminder.)

Yes. Yes, they did. Three of them. All looking disgustingly svelte and all CARRYING TASERS.

Just like this one. Except they were paper. But could have been dangerous, who knows.

And would anyone care to guess who embodied these calorie police people? Hmmm?? Anyone??

It was none other than my traitor friend, TERESE and two of her relatives.

Turncoat. Terese was supposed to be driving my getaway car!! Saving me from the Calorie Police! And heading to Krispy Kreme!

Instead, she and her cohorts were sitting docilely at MY DINING ROOM TABLE eating disgustingly healthily with TASERS STICKING OUT OF THEIR POCKETS.

Ah, but it takes more than brute intimidation to keep me away from my Peeps, by golly. And my mayfair chocolate egg. And my Nerd jelly beans. And my lemon meringue pie. And my Dairy Queen ice cream cake. And my....oops, sorry. I promised not to give a rundown on the gruesome details.

Yeah. I showed THEM. Paper tasers. Pshaw.

Ahhhh....I'm so lucky to be gifted with such weird friends. Must be because opposites attract.....

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