Saturday, March 19, 2011

What A Corker

So I was floating around the community center's pool yesterday.

Woo! Yes, I went back. AND had a grand old time.

I love to just lie back and let my, ahem, natural buoyancy float me to the surface of the water. With arms outstretched and toes just peeking out of the water, I could just blissfully float the day away. So easy. So relaxing.

So as I was bobbing around in the unusually quiet pool - the senior water aerobics class was still an hour away - I had a chance to mull over the fact that floating was effortless for this old body. I idly wondered why as I counted the white metal beams on the ceiling as I drifted underneath each one.  Eleven...twelve....thirteen.... Man. A thought occurred to me and I stood up.

Adipose tissue, yes, folks, - fat - FLOATS.


I lay back and resumed my drifting. Every now and then I kicked a bit and paddled my arms around - I was supposed to be exercising, after all - and realized that this was the reason Terese can't float like I do. I have a suspicion that she has a much different muscle/fat ratio than I.

Right on cue, Terese came out the the locker room, grabbed a foam noodle-shaped floatie, and made her way over to join me. I immediately confronted her about her buoyancy deficiencies.

You don't float because you have too many muscles!, I said, and pointed an accusatory finger at her. Which was wrinkled because I had already been in the pool for a half an hour.

"What are you talking about?!"

We've discussed the fact that it's hard for Terese to float before. And now I had figured out why - she's been working out faithfully ever since we joined the community center. The nerve.

"But I haven't lost a pound!"

That's only because you don't have much to lose, I told her. And muscle weighs more than fat.

It's hard to glare at someone when you're horizontal on top of the water. You have to pick up your head and kink your neck. Ruins the whole floaty experience.

Terese just laughed. It's getting so much harder to ruffle her feathers.

As we chatted and slowly swam the length of the lap pool, I realized that perhaps there was a lesson to learn from this new knowledge.

That maybe it was time to reduce my adipose tissue and make me less like a floating cork? Or a plus sized fishing bobber?


Gotta fatten up that Terese. We're going out for dinner tonight. I may order a dessert for her....mwahahaha.......

Image found here.


Jenny P said...

I agree! Terese should change, not you! My best friend and I traded places in the last two years or so - I'm now almost up to her old sizes and she's kanoodling around NYC in MY old jeans (and shirts, and skirts, and LEATHER JACKET). The nerve. Who does she think she is, letting me be the fat one. If we were both slender, that'd be great! But I'm not and she's flaunting her me-in-high-school-sized self around. Really, people like her and Terese, our supposed best friends, should be considerate enough to fatten up a bit. You and I would do it for them!

Btw, a GREAT place for floating is the western coast of FL (in the gulf)! Great still, warm waters. My inlaws live there - it was my favorite trip to visit them when we went floating:D

Amy Junod said...

"Humor" turned up! So funny about fattening up Terese.
How does the water effect your hands and feet with your new "stupid" diagnosis?

Anonymous said...

AND you asked for ICE CREAM on top of the marionberry crumble. You fiend.

Anonymous said...