Saturday, February 5, 2011

I'm Choosing A Different Bike Next Time

Yep. The exact model can be found here.

I went back to the gym at the community center yesterday. I was a little apprehensive, since my crash and burn episode last time around. Yeah - The time I was put to shame by a little walker-weilding, oxygen-tank-toting lady, sigh. I resolved to stick to my program and not be influenced by anyone this time around. Nosirree. Focused. Dedicated. That's me, all right.

So I gingerly stretched out, then stepped onto the track. This time, I put my imaginary blinders on and gritted my teeth as others passed me by. Terese actually ran BACKWARDS while talking to me.


But I kept to my predetermined pace, for my predetermined number of laps, then moved on to the predetermined type of recumbent exercise bicycle for a predetermined length of time. The only one available was directly in front of a bank of televisions placed up on the wall, so I plopped down and set the machine in motion.

Oh, good. I thought. TV. Something to keep this from being boring. Wonder what's on?

After a zillion commercials, Paula Deen's dazzling smile flashed on the screen. "Hi y'all!" she drawled. "Today we're making desserts! Let's start with one of my favorite old-timey sweets......."

My interest was piqued. I watched, mesmerized, as she measured and mixed and stirred butter and cocoa and cream cheese and walnuts......I think by this time I was drooling onto the bike controls.

As the program progressed and the cake was baked and frosted and decorated and sliced and placed appetizingly on a beautiful piece of china and her fork bit into the delectable looking slice and she put it into her mouth and made all these yum and mmmm noises, I gradually became aware that I was huffing and puffing and sweating and dripping.

Blink. Blink. Where - where - am I? I thought. I shook my head, slightly dazed.

I sheepishly realized that I had been pedaling away at a furious pace. I swear - I was trying to bike my way over to that red velvet cake - the major problem being of course that I was pedaling on a stationary bike, not a particularly effective mode of transport. And then there's the fact that the aforementioned virtual cake was safely tucked away in a computer somewhere in TV land. I hate to think what would have happened should my bike have suddenly sprouted wheels...

I slumped back in my seat, exhausted and embarrassed. Foiled again. My exercise routine had been derailed by a digitalized cake. Good grief.

After spritzing cleaner and wiping away the drool and sweat from my machine, I wobbled my way back to the locker room, where I was met yet again by the gang of rowdy naked seniors ripping off their swimsuits after a water aerobics class.

Hey, there. I waved at a familiar face or two. I was too tired to think about the fact that I now found this scenario to be just part of the routine at our community center.

So here I am again, recuperating on the couch after overexerting myself, thanks to the Paula Deen incident. Plus the mental image of her cake........could be problematic.

Think you can resist Paula Deen? I double dog dare you to watch her video and then NOT go running to the nearest bakery. I'll post it here, but I'm not going to watch it again.



Leslie at SugarAndSpiceADK. said...

Hi Julia-LOVED this post! I read someone that Paula Deen is the MOST watched show at gyms--thought that was hilarious. I like to watch her, just to salivate. You probably know this already, however: sugar equals inflammation, so those of us with autoimmune problems really need to minimize it in our diets. I've found that once I haven't had any for a few days, the cravings go away. Best to you!

Anonymous said...


Anything that makes stationary bike riding not boring, works for me. I have one in my sewing room, and really, really hate it because I get so bored!

Did you bake a cake when you got home?

Robin said...

Love Paula Deen! We live 45 minutes from Savannah and have been to her restaurant - even the turnip greens were delicious. I never touch them but since they were Paula's I had to try them.