Sunday, March 14, 2010

Ms. Magoo

Yes, these are my glasses. And they're really thick even with those newfangled thin carbon whatchamahooie lenses. Shoulda seen them when they were made out of plain glass. 

It's been a busy morning.

It all began when I, being the doofus that I am, forgot to take off my glasses when I got into the shower.

I suppose that I should explain why not having my glasses perched on my nose is so important to this little story. It all began early in my childhood.......actually even before my childhood......Hey, this feels kind of therapeutic. Wait, wait - I'll stretch out on the couch and you try to look like a psychiatrist.


So I can blame my ancestors for my really bad eyesight, specifically my Grandpa Frank. I inherited my big feet from Aunt Katherine, and my erm, substantial physique from my Grandma Ella. I love having relatives on whom I can blame just about anything I can think of. I can attribute my inability to come up for air when immersed in a good book to my dad, and my proclivity for and ability to make pastries from my mom. What a useful tool for rationalizing away all my character defects.

Now where was I?

Right. Eyesight. So it's been an issue for me since I was a little kid. As my eyesight deteriorated, the thickness of my eyeglass lenses increased, to the point that they did indeed look like Mr. Magoo's spectacles.

Image found here

Thank God for contacts. I believe that had I been wearing my glasses, John probably would not have noticed me on the day that we met - heck, even if he did notice me, I probably wouldn't have recognized him as a human, if I would have taken off my glasses. Without glasses, I'm blind as the proverbial bat. And the aforementioned Mr. Magoo. But I was wearing contacts, and so I did notice him and his gorgeous long-lashed deep green eyes, and he noticed me......and the rest is history. And we lived happily ever after, blah blah blah blah blah.

Fast forward to this morning, when I stepped into our shower with fully corrected vision.

Good grief!!

WHEN did my shower become so gross? I wouldn't have a clue since usually I head in there glasses-less and blind. And why didn't mister gorgeous green eyes let me know??

Had I taken a minute to think, I would have remembered that I don't remember the last time I gave the shower a good once-over. I grabbed the shower cleaner and first scrubbed the shower, then me.

Which leaves me here, cashed out in front of my trusty laptop, feet up and done for the day.

I should have just taken off my glasses.


annie said...

Julia, thank you for your daily dose of humor. I'm sitting here reading this and laughing...I understand what you're saying.I must apologize about the reading material...not only do I have the memory of a gnat, but the eyesight of one too! I did not notice the recommended reading, as I was looking further down to your different posts. OOPS!!!

Julia Oleinik said...

Annie - no need to apologize - it WAS absent! I re-created the list and reposted it yesterday. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!!