Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Bring It

Image found here.

I have seen too many violent action movies lately. John and I went to see Inglourious Basterds on Saturday, and I have to confess I spent a great deal of the movie cringing into my popcorn bag. It's a good thing that movie theaters are selling popcorn in such ginormous bags - if I wanted I probably could have crawled inside the thing and pulled the bag shut over my head. We always buy a large popcorn when we go to the movies. We eat it all, too. Sigh.

I would have liked to take the paper napkins and wad them in my ears to block out the sound effects that accompanied the graphically violent scenes, but I thought that would be a little much. Hm - Julia squeezed into a popcorn bag with white wads of paper hanging out of her ears.....wow, that's true gruesomeness......

By the end of the movie, I found myself becoming much less grossed out by the violence, and I was slurping my giant soda and crunching popcorn with abandon. The gunfire and gore began to seem commonplace. Cool, even. Kind of infectious. As a matter of fact, by the time the credits were rolling, I swaggered out of the theater with real attitude. I gave the lady in front of me a malicious stare when she tried to cut in front of me in the bathroom line. She cringed and stepped back deferentially as I swept past her. Yeahhh. Don't mess with me, woman.

I meet routinely with a group of friends at a local coffee shop, and we call ourselves the Mocha Girls. If I used dicey language, and I don't, I would suggest that we change our name to the Inglourious Bi**ches. I can see Bev strong-arming an insolent barista and slamming his face up against the pastry case. Take that for an attitude adjustment, buddy. No tip for you.

Wait. It would never work. What was I thinking?? Come back to reality, Julia.....

Cheryl insists on wearing completely coordinated ensembles. Her shoes and purse always match. An Uzzi or Glock would never complement anything in her wardrobe.

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