Thursday, May 28, 2009

Chocolate Torture

My husband recently bought a ginormous bag of chocolates. In an attempt to be supportive of my ongoing, never ending diet, he stashed them in the downstairs freezer, I'm sure with the notion that if it's out of sight, it's out of mind

Silly, silly man. 

I appreciate his efforts, I really do. And this would probably be a really effective strategy, for a man. Specifically my husband. John is one of those infuriating people over whom food has absolutely no power. So what if there's twelve thousand calories of chocolate sitting in our freezer? If he wants some chocolate, he helps himself to a piece. 

A piece. 

That's all. One measly piece. I'll ask him if he wants more, and he will think a minute, and say, Well, no, that's all I want. But thanks, honey. 

What is wrong with this individual?? 

I would give my eyeteeth if I could somehow own this attitude. Goodness knows I've tried to develop this frame of mind, but I have come to realize that it just won't happen in my lifetime. 

No, for me, the knowledge of all those candy bars sitting in my freezer is torture. Out of sight? When chocolate is the item out of sight, it's never out of my mind. I wake up in the morning and debate if chocolate would be a good breakfast food. I am certain that Snickers and a cup of coffee has to have enormous nutritional benefits. How many calories of chocolate would equal a lunchtime sandwich? Who needs chicken salad if a Milky Way candy bar is around? What if I walked the dogs while eating a candy bar? Would the exercise calories balance out the chocolate calories? 

This bag of temptation has to go. That's it. Into the garbage. 

After I have just once piece.......or  two....or three.....


John said...

The most amazing thing is that the candy bars were there for several weeks before you found them.

Julia Oleinik said...

Hey!! I thought husbands weren't allowed on here! I may have to be more careful about what I say.....