Friday, April 11, 2008

Saying No

So I was sitting in my weight loss group the other day (and don’t ask me how that’s going because it’s not good), when the topic of self-care came up.

 The leader began by asking, “How many of you find that you are caring for everyone else in your family besides yourself? How many of you carve time out in your schedule that is just for YOU?”

Well. Ever since I had to quit work, I have been doing nothing BUT focusing on myself. My entire day is booked almost completely with the word ME in every time slot. There was a time when I would have thought that this would be a perfect existence. Several of my friends have commented that they would love to change places with me.

 Let me tell you honestly, focusing entirely upon yourself stinks. Especially when you are a chubby 50 year old with a strange hairdo and a disease that saps your energy when you least expect or want it to. 

I am just not interesting enough to warrant attention 24/7.

If I allow myself to become uber focused on my body and it’s symptoms, I become very strange and hard to live with. Every pimple, ache, or pain seems to be magnified 200% simply because, in the absence of anything else to focus on, that pimple turns into a monstrous problem. I become anxious and fretful, and even crankier than usual. It’s not pretty.

Instead, I have found that saying YES to a few things has rescued me from myself. Granted, the things that I have agreed to do are very limited commitments. But when I spend a few hours answering phones for one of our church’s non-profits, I am blissfully focused on something and someone else.

All kidding aside, I do know that many women’s lives are packed above and beyond what is reasonable for any person, and I admire the women that can keep all those plates spinning. My sisters are really good examples of this.

Too bad there isn’t a way for us all to average these lifestyles so that everyone is happy. 

No comments: