Why do they put these pure-sugar-terrible-for-me-but-I-love-'em-anyway things smack dab in front of the store?
John and I were stomping the snow off our boots as we headed into our local Walmart the other day and I had crankily decided that I needed to use one of their putt putt carts. It was one of those crummy low energy days for me, which always puts me in a bad mood, so I chose one from their herd of six carts - yes SIX, God bless 'em - and glumly rolled toward the bakery. But before we made it past the Little Debbie display an elderly substantially sized gentleman wearing a Walmart lanyard with employee credentials dangling from it stepped in front of my cart and brought an imaginary walkie talkie to his face. In an official tone he said, "I've got her right here, officer. Yes, yes, she WAS going 60 miles per hour."
I couldn't help but be delighted. This was my kind of guy. Especially since he had one of these perched on his head:
My crabbiness evaporated immediately.
He told me -- with tinsel sparkling as it swung from his plush branches -- that he had bought his on Amazon (you can buy your very own here) and had tricked it out big time by hot gluing miniature presents, shiny ornaments, and garland on it. I strongly suspect that he had added the Mini Christmas Tree Ornament 32 Pack to his hat order.
The effect was impressive. I asked if I could have his hat to which he emphatically replied, "No." But he wished me happy holidays with a wink and an enormous smile; after which he returned to his post in front of the store and began to cajole other grumpy shoppers like myself into a better mood.
After he left, John and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. A two minute interaction with this man had radically changed the tone of our day for both of us (Because when Julia ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy. Seriously.) which was a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! *insert video clip of snow falling gently while Hallmark channel sentimental music plays in the bakery aisle as Julia and John look at each other with hands clasped and shining tear brimmed eyes*.
What actually happened was that John told me he'd meet me over by the eggs and we headed off in different directions. But we were both grinning.
Our balsam-topped Walmart friend is just one of the reasons that I love this time of year. Wouldn't it be great if I walked into the store wearing a hat just like his on a day that he was working? I wonder if Amazon could overnight one of these beauties..... I've got my glue gun at the ready.