tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-690850457652849477.post6710879611100319357..comments2024-03-19T09:10:47.280-07:00Comments on Reasonably Well: What Else Are You Looking For, Little Guy?Julia Oleinikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04857783768340014545noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-690850457652849477.post-10534389230586390652011-08-27T12:45:01.534-07:002011-08-27T12:45:01.534-07:00After some quiet thought about similar experiences...After some quiet thought about similar experiences like this I've had myself, I've come to this conclusion. You may never know what simple act of kindness might be the difference between becoming hardened or hopeful. You just never know what a cool thing that was for the little one.Amy Junodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06060344931214062441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-690850457652849477.post-7777323677610275122011-08-26T07:55:41.810-07:002011-08-26T07:55:41.810-07:00I also think you did a right thing, though I won&#...I also think you did a right thing, though I won't say "wonderful" because there isn't really a guaranteed wonderful thing here. You did what may have been the only thing you could have done in that situation.<br /><br />If she's already trying to decide between food and medicine and rent, for example, she may really not have had that dollar for him. And in that case, giving him the dollar was wonderful but think how awful she must feel having to weigh a dollar of fun against necessities.<br /><br />No, her tone wasn't right...but as you say, she maybe didn't have a dollar to spare. Maybe she hasn't in months, or years. Any day in the store is a bad day at that point. I'd love to think we're always gentle and kind with our kids when we're frustrated and have to disappoint them again, but ... people are human, alas. Is the financial situation something she's explained to him, patiently and lovingly, so many times that she's given up on his understanding it?<br /><br />Or is she just sour and unloving? That's possible, too...and certainly her "remember I didn't give it to you" is unlovely. On the other hand, she didn't tell him not to take it or get mad at you, and perhaps she was thinking about what her husband might think ("you wasted money on THAT?") when she got home, or that her son might expect her to buy him something at each visit in the future, or....<br /><br />It could be anything. And there's more you could have done, but to pick the right thing, you'd have had to know what the "anything" was. If her money is really that tight, the church's food pantry phone number might have helped. If her husband gives her almost nothing to spend, then perhaps the domestic line. If she COULD have afforded it and is just that grouchy, maybe the lecture (but probably not) or a reference to a social services agency. If she was just having a bad day...then maybe any of those things would have just made it worse.<br /><br />I really, REALLY wish life came with a "here is the best thing you could do in this moment" label.<br /><br />It doesn't, which sucks. But I think you did a right thing, even if you didn't know what the best thing might be.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10848100494696850303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-690850457652849477.post-7605841591981179092011-08-25T06:46:35.836-07:002011-08-25T06:46:35.836-07:00How sad that there are so many people who want chi...How sad that there are so many people who want children and can't have any, and then there are those who procreate and physically/mentally abuse their children and don't appreciate what a gift they have in their lives. That woman could have many problems in her life or none at all, but whatever she is going through is not the child's fault...she's the adult here. And you did do the right thing! It's a very delicate line to trod in these situations.annienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-690850457652849477.post-40516208665424907842011-08-25T04:19:33.869-07:002011-08-25T04:19:33.869-07:00Julia, I had a similar experience in our local Wal...Julia, I had a similar experience in our local Wal Mart the other day....a mom a few aisles over was screaming at her toddler, who was standing up in her shopping cart..and then proceeded to yell at her, "would you SHUT UP?" It was everything I could do to make myself stay put and not call Social Services on my cell phone...your post made me sad, but, at the risk of being deleted, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!Leslie at SugarAndSpiceADK.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09311900004547134837noreply@blogger.com