Friday, December 4, 2015

This Device Should Not Be Used To Chill Beer Cans

John and I attended a "joint replacement" class this afternoon and I have to say that I came home feeling bummed.

I know. I know. I've been telling everyone in the tri-county that I can't WAIT for my knee surgery. But after the class during which the staff hauled out examples of the raised toilet seats, walkers, examples of steri strips and incisional dressings, and gross pictures of what a dressing would look like when it needed changing; then discussed at length the probabilities of constipation after surgery and specifically what I should do about it, I have to say my excitement was dampened a bit. As a nurse, this stuff is not a surprise to me and should. not. gross me out. I suppose when I'm the one receiving the bandage instead of changing it that things get much more personal...

One demo in particular though intrigued me more than disgusted me, which was a bright spot in this class. It's this cool device (see what I did there?) that I will be taking home from the hospital with me. I'm not certain that this is the particular brand that I will get but it looks very similar to the one that they used for the class today.

It attaches to a special knee pad, and using tubes connected to the device pumps iced water through the pad, keeping my surgical area cool. 

I think I will like this thing a lot judging from what the staff told me since it reduces swelling and pain. 

Um. Wait a minute.........oh, no. I'm getting a vision here of what John and Greg might decide would be acceptable alternate uses for this device. Oh, and people? Please don't help them about by posting suggestions below. M'kay? Thanks. 

Any application or use of this device NOT LISTED IN THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL by anyone other than me will be strictly prohibited. 

Are we clear here? Don't make me use my grabber for a not-in-the-instruction-manual application guys. Wouldn't be pretty. 

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