Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Excuses Excuses

I think a decorative pillow is a far better use of burlap than as dog food. 

I'm finding it difficult to write today.


Because my front tooth fell out. Or more accurately, the crown where my front tooth used to be fell out. There I was just innocently chomping away on my organic amaranth no-sugar-added cereal, with walnuts sprinkled on and almond milk poured over, (I know. Pretty uninspired breakfast but I have a great deal of dietary atonement to do after vacation.) when I bit down on something that was decidedly not amaranth or walnuts. Lucky for me I didn't bite down hard and also lucky that I didn't swallow the thing.

So I spit it out and there it was. Ew. I looked in the mirror and was even more grossed out because all that was left of my original front tooth was this whittled down fang. A  call to my dentist's office and a few minutes later Julia the snaggletooth was on her way for a tooth re-gluing.

So I was traumatized. Yes I was. I give y'all permission to call me a real wimp.

I was all set to attempt to write a brilliant discussion about some of the latest Sjogren's studies that I had found interesting but my thought process was completely derailed by the frightening thought that I may have swallowed about a thousand dollars worth of dental work AND the knowledge that there was no. way. in. HELL that I would have consented to wait for the thing to make it's way through my innards and then -- even though cleaned up and autoclaved -- let it be reattached anywhere, especially inside my oral cavity.

Dr. F. spent probably a total of fifteen minutes with me to re-attach the thing, ten of which were spent regaling me with stories about other similar incidents with his patients that didn't end nearly as well, (like the lady that swallowed a four tooth solid gold bridge who opted to um....recycle... the thing) and also the items that his labrador had swallowed; the most entertaining of which was an entire burlap feed sack. I told him he had to quit with the stories or I wouldn't be able to stop laughing long enough for the adhesive to set up and then I'd be back tomorrow probably having the same problem.

By the time I left his office, I just couldn't get back into a scientific frame of mind. That's hard enough even without mental images of a large dog chowing down a whole feed sack or how one would go about cleaning up a four tooth gold bridge. So I gave up. And what y'all get today is just everyday drivel.

The quest to create an actually informative post continues, however. See y'all tomorrow.


Sue said...

I am for recycling but not anything swallowed and processed. My cat swallowed a skate lace and some Christmas ribbon once. We did not recycle that either. Did you ever find the appliance that you thought Lulu might have eaten?

Julia Oleinik said...

Hi Sue -- Lulu says thanks for your concern. Actually, I did find what I thought may have been the appliance in question; chewed and shredded thoroughly into small pieces in her doggie do do.

She was fine. I was just grossed out in general with the whole thing.

Nicky said...

So kist out of curiosity how does one get milk from an almond... let that sink in

Danyell Aleman said...

I'm so sorry for what happened with your front tooth, Julia. I'm glad that your dentist was able to re-attach it immediately. I can’t imagine you wearing that snaggletooth for long. I hope that it will not happen again, and I'm looking forward to hear more from you. Have a great day!

Danyell Aleman @ Wool Wich Dental