Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Cue Pomp and Circumstance

.::sniff::. My parents will be so proud. .::dabbing emotional tears of pride::.

It's official. After several physical therapy sessions and with the completion of my attendance at a mandatory "Back Care" class today, I've graduated from post-op laminectomy care. I wonder if there will be a formal ceremony? If there is, I want to go.

I'm certain that if there were to be a ceremony, someone distinguished and of great importance would make the commencement address which would be dignified, excruciatingly long, pithy, and offer other graduates inspirational quotes from other highly successful post laminectomy patients. I would expect those accepting their diplomas to rise from their chairs using proper body mechanics and cross the stage wearing properly fitted arch supporting footwear while exhibiting healthy back postures which support their neutral spine curve using appropriately strengthened core muscles.

But before the speaker took the podium, I think it would be fun to pass around bingo markers and copies of these graduation speech bingo cards found on Wired.

Is my mortarboard on straight?

Hey. I want a cake.

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