Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I'm Glad There Were So Few People Swimming.....

You think I'm exaggerating? I taped the stupid thing to the window to get a picture. Gah!!

Well, guys. Yesterday I finally summoned up the energy to get back into the community center's swimming pool. It's been a long while since I've been there, so I had to rummage around in my dresser to find one of my suits. I grabbed the one closest to the top of the drawer, threw it in my tote bag and headed out.

It felt good to be back in the water again. I love that buoyant feeling. I showed up during a free swim period, so it was a perfect time to ease myself back into swimming. I felt as though I had the whole pool to myself since there were so few patrons there. I paddled around for a bit, then when I felt tell tale symptoms of reaching my energy limit, got out of the pool, showered, and drove back home patting myself on the back the whole way. I might add that I was so proud of myself that I may have actually sashayed from the pool to the locker room. Yeah, Me! I thought.

Then.

On arrival home, I pulled the suit out of my bag and tossed it into the laundry. But something.....odd....about the fabric and color of the suit caught my attention. I grabbed the thing and with increasing panic held it up to the light to get a closer look. Oh my gosh.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

SOMETHING had happened to the fabric of that suit during the months that it had languished in my dresser drawer. Something that disintegrated the deep navy spandex into fabric liberally sprinkled with semi-sheer and threadbare patches. And of course the most transparent part of the suit was.......directly over my backside.

I. Am. Not. Kidding.

Yes.

I wonder how many swimmers noticed as I flounced my plus sized behind back to the locker room. Aieeeeeeeeee!

I suppose the only positive part of this episode is that I was blissfully unaware of the state of affairs as I exited the pool. I wonder what I would have done had I known what kind of spectacle I was making.

Thank goodness there wasn't an aqua aerobics class in progress....

People. Why? Why ME? Why ME -- ALL OF THE TIME?

8 comments:

Heda said...

Great story. Lots and lots of laughs. Chin up. I'm sure you've got a great butt. They should be so lucky to see it. :-)))

Lauren said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the morning laugh. I'm just sorry it was at your expense but am glad you are free enough to laugh at yourself.

Vickie Spires said...

All you can do is laugh it off! Don't let this keep you from the pool - just go out and treat yourself to a spiffy new bathing suit!!

Nancy said...

Been there! Done that!

You made my morning, Julia.

annie said...

I'm sorry for laughing.....with you,but this is why I read you first thing in the morning. I know something great will start off my day, be it knowledge, or just a great laugh like today. What's next in the Julia repertoire? Thanks for sharing ups and downs.

P said...

Well girl that's what chlorine does to the spandex in the suits. I rotate among 3 and usually see how far I can use the suits. But you know, I never looked at the backside!!! oh well...thanks for making me grin this morning...

Laura said...

Good old chlorine! It probably wasn't as dramatic as you think, though - unless you're so good that light shines from your...well, you know.

Water makes it a little less obvious, as does an opaque backing. Even on your window it's not quite see-through.

Gertie said...

Lets go shopping for a new suit this weekend for you. I want to see the light shine out of your...you know!

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