You think I'm exaggerating? I taped the stupid thing to the window to get a picture. Gah!!
Well, guys. Yesterday I finally summoned up the energy to get back into the community center's swimming pool. It's been a long while since I've been there, so I had to rummage around in my dresser to find one of my suits. I grabbed the one closest to the top of the drawer, threw it in my tote bag and headed out.
It felt good to be back in the water again. I love that buoyant feeling. I showed up during a free swim period, so it was a perfect time to ease myself back into swimming. I felt as though I had the whole pool to myself since there were so few patrons there. I paddled around for a bit, then when I felt tell tale symptoms of reaching my energy limit, got out of the pool, showered, and drove back home patting myself on the back the whole way. I might add that I was so proud of myself that I may have actually sashayed from the pool to the locker room. Yeah, Me! I thought.
On arrival home, I pulled the suit out of my bag and tossed it into the laundry. But something.....odd....about the fabric and color of the suit caught my attention. I grabbed the thing and with increasing panic held it up to the light to get a closer look. Oh my gosh.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
SOMETHING had happened to the fabric of that suit during the months that it had languished in my dresser drawer. Something that disintegrated the deep navy spandex into fabric liberally sprinkled with semi-sheer and threadbare patches. And of course the most transparent part of the suit was.......directly over my backside.
I. Am. Not. Kidding.
I wonder how many swimmers noticed as I flounced my plus sized behind back to the locker room. Aieeeeeeeeee!
I suppose the only positive part of this episode is that I was blissfully unaware of the state of affairs as I exited the pool. I wonder what I would have done had I known what kind of spectacle I was making.
Thank goodness there wasn't an aqua aerobics class in progress....
People. Why? Why ME? Why ME -- ALL OF THE TIME?