I Took One On The Chin.....

.........and I am perfectly fine.

But because I'm left with this painless but embarrassing BIG OBVIOUS THING on my face, I've had to explain my dopey Julia incident over and over and over. Help me come up with a more interesting story than what actually happened, guys. Maybe something involving an undercover FBI sting in which I'm either the prime suspect OR the heroine.......hmm.

Do y'all like the nifty special effect I found that zapped out all of my neck wrinkles in this picture? Woo!

So about the time that I was scraping off my chin skin on the pavement, Terese was balancing on a chair. On tippy-toe. Reaching for something that she just couldn't quite reach. Which resulted in this which is also very obvious but unfortunately still painful:

Oh, hey! We need to come up with a story that involves BOTH of our injuries.....

This could be good. 

Not Multitasking Part Two....

So, as Earl the seagull was laughing his beak off at me sprawled face-first in the gas station parking lot, John picked me up and helped me get into the car. Once I realized that I hadn't actually irreparably damaged myself, I began worrying about my camera, which fell right along with me. John thought I should take some more pictures to make sure that it was unbroken, so I did.

Canon seemed to be just fine. It's actually a great camera - all of the following pictures were taken using a telephoto lens and preset exposure and shutter speed settings while John barreled down the freeway at seventy plus miles per hour. I LOVE this camera. It's almost Julia-proof.

I Don't Multi-Task

Check out my seagull pictures.

They're the last pics I took today before FALLING ON MY FACE because I was talking on my cell phone, walking around a gas station parking lot, taking pictures of seagulls, and not paying any attention to the fact that I had climbed up onto a mound of rocks.

Y'all excuse me while I go resume icing my knee and my chin. Oh, brother...

Yes. We are the cool dude seagulls. Notice that we're all looking bravely into the sunset. 

Just droppin' in. So move over.  

This guy just hung his butt over the edge and um....pooped. Glad I wasn't directly underneath.  

 "Earl! For cryin' out loud! We've told you a million times to poop out of sight of the tourists! Geez. You're so embarrassing." 

"Willya look at that klutzy lady. Betcha a bunch of clams she falls on her face! 

Well. That was fast. Pay up, Earl!"

William, William....

Thanks to Penguin Books and the BlogHer book club, I have been reading my eyeballs off with real pleasure. My most recent review of A Jane Austin Education is up over at BlogHer: 

Not that he would have cared, but if I had met William Deresiewicz, author of A Jane Austen Education, when he was 26, I would have disliked him very much. I’d seen far too many versions of him on several college campuses and knew that if we had met at a party, he would have taken one disdainful look at me and then moved on. The dismissive attitude would have been mutual. I wouldn’t have given him another glance, either.

In his memoir, Deresiewicz describes himself at 26 in graduate school this way:

"I’d pass my days in a cloud of angry sarcasm, making silent speeches, as I stalked down Broadway in my John Lennon coat, against everything conventional, respectable, and pious... I smoked weed, listened to the Clash, and snorted at the business monkeys who’d sold out to the Man."

The arrogant young William not surprisingly struggled with relationships, since his concept of a conversation meant that he would declare his opinions, knowledge, and experiences. The person to whom this smug deluge was directed was expected to simply absorb his superiority like a docile sponge. And if this person was a girlfriend, there would also be the added expectation of sex on demand and without commitments.

As I began to read this book, I had to stifle my desire to reach into the pages and grab the author by the wide lapels of his Lennon coat and shake him silly. But as the paragraphs went by, Deresiewicz’s attitude toward life and love and friendships began to change drastically, as did my impulse to do the author bodily harm......

Continue reading here.

Thank You

I had the privilege of attending the ordination of four young men into the priesthood today.

There's nothing that I can say........words seem so trite. So superficial. Better to say simply that it was a powerful, amazing experience.

Mopey Maple

We planted this maple tree fifteen years ago, and until recently, it was healthy and thriving. I can see it from my bedroom window. We gauge it's growth by how much of the streetlight it blocks. In the fall, it turns a wonderful orangey-red color.

The poor thing is looking sickly this year, and we were worried. So John called in an arborist to try to diagnose it's problems.

Aww. Poor tree.

Among other suggestions, he told us to not use any kind of herbicide near the tree - even the kind that is mixed in with some lawn fertilizers. Instead, he suggested that John buy this to kill weeds in our yard without chemicals:

Yes. He suggested that my husband arm himself with a modified flame-thrower. I was aghast. John was delighted.

I guess this thing is called a Weed Dragon.

I'm all for eliminating the use of harmful chemicals in our yard.....but I'm also going to have 911 on speed dial.

Oh, no.....I just can't imagine what will happen when John AND Greg get these.....

Boooooooring

I visited the community center pool yesterday.

How disappointing.

I had both pieces of my swimming suit. I wasn't mooned when walking into the locker room. Nobody was sitting around naked and cracking jokes. Not a soul was booted out of the pool for only wearing their underpants. I swam, took my shower and headed home without incident.

Sigh.

I can only hope that my next visit there will be more entertaining. I'm counting on YOU, Terese.

One Order Of Adorable Coming Right Up

John and I had such a fun outing on Sunday. Godson and his mom and dad recently moved into a beautiful new home, and we were invited over to check it out.

It IS a delightful home, spacious, thoughtfully planned floor plan, lots of bedrooms (since Godson will have a sibling this fall!!), a lovely expansive kitchen, and sits on a meticulously landscaped lot in a quiet residential area. Godson was focused less on the architecture and decor than he was on one very special feature of his new house, though.

What fun to get the grand tour with my hand firmly held by a sweet toddler boy. "C'mon, Auntie Julia!"

Godson's favorite part of the tour was the finale, during which he led us outdoors. He was impatient for me to get to his destination, so he ran ahead but thoughtfully brought my chair for me......

.......to a delightful playhouse tucked away in the trees.

Lucky me. I was invited inside for a snack.

I don't know what we were eating but it was deeeeelicious.

I'll be a regular at THIS restaurant, Godson.

Smooch.

You Put Your Right Hand Here, You Put Your Left Hand There....

I would want to be wearing a shirt like this while crossing my arms. You can get your very own here. 

Interesting.

This recently released study concludes that "crossing arms reduces pain intensity":

If you have a pain, for example in your hand, and you cross your arms over the midline, it reduces the intensity of that sensation of pain by confusing the brain, scientists from University College London reported in the journal Pain.

Wow. Read the article here, on Medical News Today.

These Two Things Are Not Like Each Other

While browsing around at a local drugstore, I came across these little patch thingies for dry mouth. I was intrigued, so I tossed a package into my shopping cart:

And, I also bought a box of these toilet cleaning gel thingies.

So after I got home, I went around the house cleaning toilets and popping a cleaning gel thingie in each.

These two products should NOT seem similar in any way....except to someone as strange as myself. Because when I got ready for bed last night, I read the instructions for the dry mouth thingies. Hm.

Brush teeth. Stick dry mouth thingie inside mouth.

Why does this seem similar.....hm......ewwwwwww......

BRUSH TOILET. STICK TOILET CLEANING THINGIE INSIDE OF TOILET.

AAAAAACCCCKKKKK!

I'll tell y'all if the mouth discs work after I actually am able to force myself to put one in.

Doggone Good Puzzle

I have grown to enjoy putting together jigsaw puzzles. John likes them as much as I do. There's something so relaxing about turning off the television or the radio, and just sitting in companionable silence as we sort and fit.

We finished our most recent one the other day. It was a folk-art type scene with lots of American flags.

It was the most satisfying kind of puzzle - one that has thick, brightly colored pieces, and a complex picture.

As we clicked the last few pieces into place, John and I realized that this was a very special puzzle. It was the only one in the last year that SOMEONE (small and furry and who's initials begin with L and end with ULU) has not chewed up one of it's pieces.

This poor apostle got his head chewed up by a schnauzer...for shame. Lulu said that Maggie did it, but we didn't believe it for a moment.

You look guilty as heck to me, Miss Lurk-Under-The-Puzzle-Table-Ready-To-Snack-On-A-Dropped-Piece.

We sent this one off to Goodwill with the words, ALL PIECES INCLUDED proudly scrawled across the box.

The SWACs Are At It Again

Goldie - without my swimming suit inside. Doesn't she look all spiffy? I treated her to a bath. 

I've commented before about how much I enjoy the spirit and spunk of the senior water aerobics ladies over at the community center. Yep - The gang of amply endowed gals that mooned me on my first visit to the swimming pool locker room, God love 'em.

They've endeared themselves to me yet again.

I promised Terese that I would get my lazy butt over to the pool and swim with her yesterday. I've been battling a real fatigue episode over the last week, but determined that flare or no flare, I was going to be In. The. Pool. No excuses.

So I hopped into Goldie and zipped across town to the community center, smug with the knowledge that my packed swim bag was riding along with me in the back seat. And, as always happens when I'm absolutely certain about something, well, of course I should know better....

Because when I reached for my two piece swimming suit when I started to change out of my clothes in the locker room, I pulled out only the top half of my suit. I stuck my arm into my gym bag up to my armpit and rummaged around and sputtered with frustration. My swim shorts weren't there. Even after I dumped everything out onto the floor.

Dang.

Two of the senior water aerobics class ladies, (SWACs. I like it.) were watching me with amusement.

One asked,"What's the matter?"

Grumble grumble grumble.....I forgot to bring my swimsuit bottoms. Sigh. Stomp foot.

The other asked, "What color underwear are you wearing?"

Blink. What?

"Underwear. You are wearing underwear?"

Uh, of course. It's, uh...black.

The first SWAC said, "Polyester or cotton?"

Well...it's...um...polyester, I think.

"Well, for crying out loud. Just wear your underwear."

I actually thought seriously about it for about three seconds.

The second SWAC hastily commented, "Wait! REMEMBER LAST WEEK?"

I sat down on the changing bench. This sounded good.

"Oh, right. THE MAN."

The man??

"Yes. A MAN came into the pool wearing nothing but his whitey-tighties. His skivvies. His underpants."

First SWAC hooted with laughter. "Yeah. Could see everything."

They both cackled for a good thirty seconds, then one turned to look at me seriously.

"They threw him out. You might want to reconsider parading around in your underwear, honey."

Um. I think you're right.... (Not that it was my idea in the first place, girls....)

Still giggling, I headed over to confess to Terese that I hadn't actually brought anything to swim in.

Ah. I SO want to be just like them when I grow up.

Sing About Sjogren's

I found the link to this video on the Sjogren's Syndrome Foundation monthly update. Enjoy!


Written and performed by Barry Curtis.

Facial Swelling and Sjogren's Syndrome

I recently received a letter in which a reader asked about lymph drainage and Sjogren's syndrome. She mentioned swelling in the glands in her face, wondered if the swelling in her face could be reduced by increasing lymph node drainage in that area, and asked if swimming would be a good exercise to stimulate her lymphatic system.

Short answer? I find swimming to be good exercise - for just about any reason. It's gentle on my joints since the water supports my body weight. I can swim at my own pace and the warm water is very soothing to aching muscles and joints. There are very few contraindications for people to take leisurely swims for exercise. Just make sure to moisturize your skin well after, and take measures to avoid UV exposure.

Long answer? First, and most importantly - TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR.

For most Sjogren's patients, swelling in the facial areas, specifically in front of the ears, is not due to lymph node drainage. Sjoggies' parotid glands may swell in response to inflammation and damage caused by their own white blood cells attacking these tissues. Less frequently, pain and swelling in the parotids may indicate an infection in the gland or duct, or inflammation caused by a stone in the saliva duct. Check out the placement of the parotid glands in the image below.

Image of saliva glands found here. 

Since the parotids and the other saliva glands - the submandibular and sublingual - are not considered organs specific to the lymphatic system, lymphatic fluid is not usually the culprit in facial swelling related to Sjogren's syndrome.

However, it is possible to have enlarged lymph nodes and swelling in your face and neck for many other reasons besides Sjogren's syndrome - so here again, CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR. A good physical exam should help him/her differentiate between an enlarged parotid gland and enlarged lymph nodes.

The lymphatic system in the head and neck looks something like this: (lymph nodes illustrated in yellow)

Image found here. 

The most common cause of swollen lymph nodes is an exposure to bacteria or a virus, but there can be other reasons.

It's complicated. I know.

Bottom line? If you notice unusual swelling, check it out with your health care provider, especially if the swelling is accompanied by redness, increased temperature, or pain. Our bodies are complex and autoimmune disease raises that complexity to new heights.

You can read more about salivary glands here, and about the lymphatic system here.

Coping? Or Giving In?

Lisa Copen, founder of the National Invisible Illness Awareness Week and Rest Ministries, has written an excellent article entitled Is Living With Illness Giving In? 

............Despite the detours, I have had the opportunity to build a nonprofit organization of nearly 15 years, to serve those who live with chronic illness, through a Christian foundation of faith. Although I believe God still heals today, He rarely does it according to our schedule. In the meantime, there is a strong need for friendship and support.

Between my family and ministry, I have ample reason to get up out of bed each day and not allow my illness to define me.

I have never given in and allowed it to consume me.

But because I do not enter marathons, audition for reality TV show contests on deserted islands, or sign up for karate class, some people assume I have.

"You've just given in to your illness," I have heard from both strangers and friends. "You need to fight it more." This is often followed by their specific advice on what I need to do to "fight it."

What defines "giving in" to your illness? There are a variety of ways that people who do not have an illness define the actions of those who are ill.

Continue reading here.

What's your definition of coping vs. giving in?

Doc Gurley's Top Ten

As usual, Doc - that is Doc Gurley - has demonstrated her considerable skill in distilling the complicated into something very understandable. Her blog post which discusses effective physician/patient communication from a physician perspective is good reading for us all:

The fact is that most Americans know what’s killing us. Is there anyone left on Earth who thinks smoking is good for you? Stop smoking, eat better, exercise, and wear your seatbelt. Just those four simple steps, alone, could save more lives than any newsworthy, groundbreaking research ever announced.

We’re talking vast numbers, hundreds of thousands of preventable deaths each year. The magnitude of behavior-related health problems is actually quite mind-blowing. But the ways to avoid them is not. Prevention for four of the five top causes of death can be reduced to two words: “Stop Smoking.” And preventing the fifth could be reduced to “Wear Your Seatbelt,” and maybe “Lock Up Your Gun (or Better Yet, Don’t Own One.”

continued here.

Calorie Chaos

My friend Susan and I were attending our weekly Weight Watchers meeting yesterday. Susan has lost a whopping twenty two pounds so far! Yay, Susan!

And I have lost..........well, NOT twenty two pounds.


The topic of discussion this morning was "how to deal with people who may side track your weight loss efforts". As the group was talking about this and identifying those sorts of people that are just impossible to have around when one is trying to eat more healthily, they identified people with these traits:

• Those that are naturally thin and just really aren't interested in chubby people's problems with food,
• Those that have some kind of agenda which includes hanging around people who are fatter than they are,
• Those that should be on a diet but just don't want to be and thus don't want anyone else dieting either,

At this point I was nodding along enthusiastically. For shame. The nerve of some people. Gosh, if they only knew what terrible people they are. And then I heard this one:

• Those that are on a diet but when they decide to jump ship they decide to take the whole shipload of people with them.

I thought about this and then slid a little lower in my seat as I recalled all those times that I forcibly fed dinner guests towering chocolate cakes, miles of pies, and acres of cookies. When I pouted and pushed and complained until everyone within a two mile radius of our feast had consumed at least half of what I had. Because if I'm going to eat a truckload of calories, by golly, everyone else is too. So there. So pour yourselves a cup of coffee and keep up with me here, people.

I couldn't focus on the rest of the conversation because my thoughts were churning. How could I have been so judgmental? And so guilty? Yikes. I finally had to raise my hand and confess.

Hi! I'm Julia. And I'm one of those terrible people that you just described!

I hung my head in shame, as everyone in the meeting began to laugh uproariously. I'll bet half of the members there admitted that they were as guilty as I was.

Ms. Perky Skinny Weight Watchers leader stood helplessly in front of us all as we guffawed and snickered and started sharing bad dieter stories and then began salivating as we were describing the high calorie and delectable foods that we not only indulged in ourselves but forced others to eat along with us. The meeting dissolved into chaos.

Yes. All of the Weight Watchers members were completely and totally out of control. And it was all my fault.

Ahh. One of my finer moments, I must say.

I wonder why I'm just not losing much weight on this diet?

Image of and recipe for Paula Deen's Chocolate Layer Cake found here.