Saturday, February 5, 2011

I'm Choosing A Different Bike Next Time


Yep. The exact model can be found here.

I went back to the gym at the community center yesterday. I was a little apprehensive, since my crash and burn episode last time around. Yeah - The time I was put to shame by a little walker-weilding, oxygen-tank-toting lady, sigh. I resolved to stick to my program and not be influenced by anyone this time around. Nosirree. Focused. Dedicated. That's me, all right.

So I gingerly stretched out, then stepped onto the track. This time, I put my imaginary blinders on and gritted my teeth as others passed me by. Terese actually ran BACKWARDS while talking to me.

Show-off.

But I kept to my predetermined pace, for my predetermined number of laps, then moved on to the predetermined type of recumbent exercise bicycle for a predetermined length of time. The only one available was directly in front of a bank of televisions placed up on the wall, so I plopped down and set the machine in motion.

Oh, good. I thought. TV. Something to keep this from being boring. Wonder what's on?

After a zillion commercials, Paula Deen's dazzling smile flashed on the screen. "Hi y'all!" she drawled. "Today we're making desserts! Let's start with one of my favorite old-timey sweets......."

My interest was piqued. I watched, mesmerized, as she measured and mixed and stirred butter and cocoa and cream cheese and walnuts......I think by this time I was drooling onto the bike controls.

As the program progressed and the cake was baked and frosted and decorated and sliced and placed appetizingly on a beautiful piece of china and her fork bit into the delectable looking slice and she put it into her mouth and made all these yum and mmmm noises, I gradually became aware that I was huffing and puffing and sweating and dripping.

Blink. Blink. Where - where - am I? I thought. I shook my head, slightly dazed.

I sheepishly realized that I had been pedaling away at a furious pace. I swear - I was trying to bike my way over to that red velvet cake - the major problem being of course that I was pedaling on a stationary bike, not a particularly effective mode of transport. And then there's the fact that the aforementioned virtual cake was safely tucked away in a computer somewhere in TV land. I hate to think what would have happened should my bike have suddenly sprouted wheels...

I slumped back in my seat, exhausted and embarrassed. Foiled again. My exercise routine had been derailed by a digitalized cake. Good grief.

After spritzing cleaner and wiping away the drool and sweat from my machine, I wobbled my way back to the locker room, where I was met yet again by the gang of rowdy naked seniors ripping off their swimsuits after a water aerobics class.

Hey, there. I waved at a familiar face or two. I was too tired to think about the fact that I now found this scenario to be just part of the routine at our community center.

So here I am again, recuperating on the couch after overexerting myself, thanks to the Paula Deen incident. Plus the mental image of her cake........could be problematic.

Think you can resist Paula Deen? I double dog dare you to watch her video and then NOT go running to the nearest bakery. I'll post it here, but I'm not going to watch it again.

 

3 comments:

Leslie said...

Hi Julia-LOVED this post! I read someone that Paula Deen is the MOST watched show at gyms--thought that was hilarious. I like to watch her, just to salivate. You probably know this already, however: sugar equals inflammation, so those of us with autoimmune problems really need to minimize it in our diets. I've found that once I haven't had any for a few days, the cravings go away. Best to you!

sissyjane said...

Hahaha....

Anything that makes stationary bike riding not boring, works for me. I have one in my sewing room, and really, really hate it because I get so bored!

Did you bake a cake when you got home?

Robin said...

Love Paula Deen! We live 45 minutes from Savannah and have been to her restaurant - even the turnip greens were delicious. I never touch them but since they were Paula's I had to try them.

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