Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Don't Miss This Performance

Well. The project date is fast approaching.

I don't want to name names here..........but........SOME of us who are about to embark upon this trip are.....shall we say.....SLACKING in their preparedness. I really would rather not be specific about whom I am speaking here, so to maintain anonymity, I will simply give her initials which begin with T and end with ERESE.

I tactfully made enquiries today about her progress with her biggest assignment: the interpretive dance/mime translation of the script, performed vigorously and WITH FEELING directly in my line of vision during filming. I was shocked - yes, shocked at her response. Which was, "I still need to work on my costume. You can only do so much with duct tape, for goodness sake."

What? Her costume isn't even done? Everyone panic! Ok. Breathe, Julia. Just breathe.

I have yet to see even a teensy bit of the dance/patomime - not even through the first paragraph of the script. I'm thinking that she needs an opportunity to really give this thing a realistic practice session. I'm thinking that as we board our airplane and when the flight attendant begins with the safety instructions/seat belt/oxygen mask speech, T. should just hop up and launch into her interpretive dance instead. Everyone in the entire plane cabin, (well, except those elitist people who insist on sitting in first class but then they'll just have to miss the show, nyeah) can guess along with me what she's trying to convey.

Wouldn't that be much more interesting? We all know what's on those safety cards. Heard it a million times. Honestly. Wouldn't you willingly pay the price of a plane ticket to see an interpretive dance about Sjogren's syndrome - related dry mouth?

And actually, even though the initial purpose of this off - screen interpretative dance was to simply provide visual cues to help me remember my lines, on second thought.......you know, T. is much better looking than I am.....she's in much better shape than I am....maybe we could add another whole dimension to this webinar, come to think of it. I think we should move her from behind the camera to front and center stage. Oh, yeah! That way, who cares if I've goobered down my blouse yet again? Or if my hair is standing on end? We could plant her duct-taped self directly in front of me. I could happily live with that!

Now THAT would be real entertainment. I'm sure the WEGO producers would agree.

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