Monday, April 6, 2009

You Make The Call

Image found here.

I have a black eye. Yup, an old fashioned shiner. 

It all started just a week ago, when John came up with this brilliant (?) idea - to drive non-stop to Las Vegas. Why? I asked. Because we can, he said. His sister and her husband were going. Why not join  them? 

Why not? I foolishly replied. 

So last Thursday morning at 4AM, I couldn't believe that I was in the car heading east, then south. Or whatever. It was 4:00 AM, for crying out loud. Sixteen hours later we cruised into Vegas, baby. 

Twenty four hours after blowing into town, I was lying on my hotel bed with a bag of ice on my face. There are two versions for the reason I found myself with a face-full of melting ice. 

You decide which version is more likely. 

Here's my explanation:

"Now, you all know that I am challenged in the fine motor skills area. I was given an elastic lanyard to hold my plastic players card - one of those card thingies that keep track of how much you spend in a casino so they can give you two dollars of free food after you gamble a zillion bucks. By the way, I never accrue enough credits to get a free saltine cracker since I hate throwing away those nickels and quarters into those one armed bandits. 

One end of that bungee cord lanyard had my players card, the other a plastic clip which was supposed to be attached to my purse or belt loop or any other part of myself, the idea being that I wouldn't forget that card. And, of course I left the clip unclipped to anything.  

The clip wedged itself under my purse somehow, and I gave it an impatient tug to free it. It flew free from under my purse and smacked my head just over my left eyebrow. Ow! Instantly a goose egg and bruise appeared. I abandoned the slot machine and headed upstairs to ice my injury." 

Here's John's version: 

"I can't keep that woman out of the casino. Once we head into Vegas, she's a gambling animal. Julia headed into the poker room in one of the seedier downtown casinos. Amid the clouds of cigar smoke, she threw back beer after beer and played dealer's choice with an assortment of vicious looking tattooed dudes.

About the tenth hand in, Julia was tired of one large bearded leather - jacketed biker character winning the past three pots. She noticed he was dealing himself stellar hands and accused him of dealing from the bottom of the deck. He kicked back his chair and stood up. 

Julia, of course, threw the first punch. All mayhem broke loose, first in the poker room and then through  the entire casino. First fists were flying, then chairs were flying. I grabbed Julia and we crawled out of the melee on our hands and knees, beer bottles flying overhead. She chose to stand up in front of the roulette table and unfortunately caught a chair across her forehead. 

Dang, that'll leave a mark, I said, as the cops stormed in and hauled the most egregious offenders off to the Clark Co. jail. 

Luckily we were able to slip away from the casino and were lost in the crowd that formed to gawk at the brawl. 

Can't take that woman anywhere."


Anonymous said...

I want pictures!!!

Vicky said...

Oh mY!!! Funny...sorry, but it is hilarious. I thought I was the only one that had interesting ways to get a shiner!

Hope your eye feels better soon!

Wendy said...

Ouch! Stop it! My sides hurt!! Version 'Deuce', for sure!
Now heal fast, and stay out of trouble!!